small wins :: oooohhh I can button it now

on this journey it is a must to celebrate the small wins.  I don't get on the scale often, so I look to how my clothes fit and my energy level to assess gains.  

long story short - the other day I was freezing because I had my carpet cleaned and had the air turn down to arctic temperatures to help it dry.  I ran to my closet and pulled out my jacket and proceeded to button it up.  then it dawned on me; "wait, I can button it up!"  

listen, there are days when I am like, I could do without all of this; I'mma just eat what I want, when I want, and bump all this working out stuff.  but I keep going...why - because of moments like this.  although I can't always see or feel the difference, I KNOW that change is coming.  

this is just a little note of encouragement - that no matter where you are in the journey, just KEEP GOING!  

wishing you all many blessings and great success with your fitness goals this week.  celebrate the small wins!

in faith, love and optimal health

PS this pic is a few years old, but you get the point.  I didn't even realize it fit until that day. 

ย 

TCTBF Siggy Icon.png

authentic.

you all wouldn't believe that I have more than thirty drafts in my queue and I left this blog sitting here, like I have nothing to say.  

the truth is, I never quit telling my story, I just quit writing it - well on the blog anyway.  I much prefer sharing the weight loss journey through pictures on instagram, but that really only scratches the surface of my life.  although I haven't posted here in 8 months, I think about it all the time.  the issue is, when I started this blog, I am not sure that I was in a space where I could share the entire story of what got me to a little over 300lbs in the first place.  

here's the thing - I have never thought that my story was special, unique or one of a kind.  there are many folks that grew up with my same circumstances or probably worse. my upbringing wasn't that bad.  however, I genuinely believe that I was being as honest as I could be.  I mean I wasn't lying, I just don't think that I was ready to share all that I am SUPPOSED to share with the world.  

I don't know if I had kept going, if I would have told the whole story.  I have learned a lot about myself in that short period of time, and I realize that this thing is so much bigger than losing the fat.  I have literally had to let go of dead weight that I didn't even realize I was carrying; some of which I am still carrying.  I have always been self-aware; but more recently, I have been confronting things that I didn't think were issues for me anymore and things that I have allowed to lie dormant and suppressed for years.  by the grace of God I am healed from those scars more each day. 

I pray that I can remain consistent enough to share the challenges and wins big or small, so that they can help someone.  

I pray you have been well.

God bless you all.

in faith, love and optimal health

getting to know :: talia felicia - video

hey friends!  i finally posted my first youtube video!! i can't even begin to tell you he angst i had in sharing this video.  lol... this whole thing sounded like a good idea when i started, but then after i hit publish, i was like..."oh em gee! what did i just do?!?!"  if you haven't yet,  you can read about how I started my journey here.

here is my little disclaimer regarding this first vid...lol

This is my very first You Tube Video.

I want to share my story of how Christ is helping me through my weight loss journey, through the lens of faith, fashion and fitness.
I love Jesus.  I hope that through everything you all can see my heart for Him in what I do.

Disclaimer - I almost didn't post this video because there where a few things that I didn't like and I won't explain them all here...lol.  Just know that when I recorded this, the timing was really random (July 31, 2016).  We were heading to Orlando in a few minutes; I walked in the office to open my blinds and I was like "girl, that's some good light, just record something...lol!" And that is how this first video was born.

Believe me, I have been praying about how to come to you all, what God wants me to say and how He wants me to communicate it.  I am me, and he uses us the way we are.  

With that being said, excuse the excessive eye movement (I am a creative, so I talk with my eyes and visualize in my head a lot), excessive dry mouth (i.e. lip smacking) and choppy transitions (this is the first video I have ever edited).
Show your girl some grace, it is the first one.  I will not do all this explaining henceforth, but hey...we're getting to know each other, and I must be honest, I was super apprehensive about putting it out.  But I can't do what the Lord tells me to do being afraid; so here goes! I hope it blesses you.  And you can laugh, cause I laughed at myself every time I watched it.  

God bless you all.  I love you,  I am praying for you and Jesus loves you most!

Now what you have been waiting for ..... https://youtu.be/5VHVvI1p-44

on exercise - to thine own self be true

this morning, i got up at 5am, as planned (hallelu) and started my morning routine and realized, 'oh shoot my headphones aren't charged!"  my husband will laugh at this, because he knows that means there was no way i was heading to the gym without them.  

i know that may sound SUPER CRAY to some of you and kind of like a cop out, but trust me it's so not.  

over the years i have learned a few things about myself when it comes to exercise, one of which is that i have horrible workouts when i don't have music; specifically my hand crafted playlists.  singing while i work out - okay so real mouthing the words - not only helps me make sure i am breathing, but it gets me so hype.  remember when i told you that my mantra too cute to be fat gets me through the last mile...well that's not entirely true.  it's also that song.  which song?  well actually pretty much any song that is on my workout playlist at the moment.  

i learned the hard way about doing this thing the way other people do it.  it became crystal clear that in order for me to work this thing, i needed to do things a particular way, and that was my way.  

my way - 

1. i need, gotta have, can't function properly without music

2. i don't particularly enjoy working out in groups* or with anyone, except the person assisting in my training efforts; and i prefer that not be someone i love because i don't want to consistently threaten to punch them in the face when i get frustrated, tired, or aggravated. 

3. early workouts are my fave, but i can get with a late workout when i have to (like tonight i will be at the gym to lift once my headphones charge)

4. i don't really like stuff touching my neck, so i cut many of my shirts for workouts. 

5. i like to sweat - a lot, so i ride home with no air conditioning and the windows up all the way home...bwahhahahhahaha...it's psychological - i feel accomplished and i want my hubby to see how hard i worked...lol

okay- so that last one was for comedic relief, but you get the point.  you have to do what works for you.  i am not saying don't step out of your comfort zone.  because in order to be successful we have to venture into the unknown, often. but also understand that it is not wrong to want certain things in place during your workouts in order to push harder, train better, and keep going.  whatever works for you that is safe and effective, do that, and do it often.  

in life, in general music fires me up; so it would only be fitting that it be a large component of what gets my through my workout.  but i wanna know what fires you up?  what do you do to get that last set in, or finish up your killer run?  please share with me!!! i would love to hear from you!

in optimal health and love,

Talia Felicia

*although i don't necessarily enjoy group fitness, i will give zumba a try again, or find a hip hop class, cause i do love to dance- see stepping out of comfort zone. 

also this is a pic of my workout from this morning, just to get the blood flowing.  i will hit the gym tonight though so i don't mess up my weight training schedule for the week.  


sabotuer

1. a person who commits or practices sabotage.

sabotage - noun

1. any underhand interference with production, work, etc., in a plant,factory, etc., as by enemy agents during wartime or by employees during a trade dispute.

2. any undermining of a cause.

Synonyms

disable, vandalize, cripple.

i do this a lot. i do it without even knowing it. then i spend days, sometimes even weeks trying to recover from perceived failure from being too hard on myself.  don't get me wrong - during this process, heck during life, there are times when it is appropriate and necessary to set the bar really high in order to achieve a goal.  however, what has hindered me all these years is not understanding that there will be hard days, and some days i will fail; nor have i allowed myself to be in this space.  don't get me wrong, by no means do i think that complacency and excuse making is okay...but we are human.  i am human.  mistakes happen. failures occur.  

self-sabotage, for me has often been subtle.  it wasn't until a few years ago that i realized that i was doing it.  i did it in many different areas of my life, but typically and most noticeable was with my weight loss journey.  the outcome would be me stalling and doing absolutely nothing at all to progress.  it became apparent that this sabotage was driven by fear.  i would do stupid stuff like stay up all night knowing that i have to workout in the morning; each monday, tell myself i am going to eat better, but then i don't go shopping the weekend prior; or set a goal to lose like 50lbs in 2 days (okay, not really, but kinda), but then realize 5 minutes after i set that preposterous goal, that it was just that and give up before i start.

i know reading this, it seems super simple and super stupid, but i would do it all them time.  even as i write this my eyes are blurry because i got caught up last night procrastinating (read sabotaging myself), knowing that i have 5 miles to run today and a host of other things to do.  the fact of the matter is, although not always successful, i have had to find ways to keep myself from derailing myself.  i have had to learn to get out of my own way.

how - 

1. prayer/meditation - i talk to the Creator, often. about my shortcomings, successes, failures, goals and dreams.  and then listen for how He guides me (i am actually working on the listening part - real talk...).

2. reminding myself that i do not have to be afraid to succeed or fail.

3. forgiving myself for the times i have failed.

4. not trying to accomplish a million goals at one time.  i can achieve one goal at a time, or several; but i don't have to overwhelm myself with trying to 'do it all in one day.' 

how have you been able to get out of your own way? i would love to know.  let's help one another!

In optimal health and love,

Talia Felicia

put the oxygen mask on you...

first. then you can help others. isn't that what they tell you on the airplane? these days, I am really beginning to understand what this means. In general,  women nurture. it's our nature. It is so easy to get caught up in what those around us need, that often we neglect our mental, physical and spiral health. now don't laugh at me, but I have a little secret.  today (well actually yesterday) was my first time getting a real professional massage and facial. I know, I know...you ladies out there who have been 'hip to the game' are gasping for air and clutching your pearls.  you wouldn't believe how nervous I was even scheduling my services. see, over time, my weight has slowly caused me to retreat from doing certain things. and this is the kicker, it wasn't because I was ashamed or embarrassed for the massage therapist to see my body,  but that I was going to uncomfortable because of my large breasts and large frame, laying there on the table. 

the other side to this coin is that I have subconsciously trained myself to believe that I don't deserve certain things until I become my ideal weight...whatever that is. but today was different,  it was a lesson for me. A lesson is taking care of what God has given me (read blessed me with)- my body, to the best of my ability.  the massage and facial were BOMB. very therapeutic, relaxing; you know, everything you would expect one to be. but as I lay there bare one that table, one thing was really clear; I have missed out. Always waiting for tomorrow,  or the perfect circumstances.  because I have told myself that I am not worthy because of my weight, or attached some lofty goal, with a ridiculous time frame for which to complete to something as simple as a pedicure, I have let my weight control me. 

today was necessary for so many reasons. and dropped a few gems on my spirit in the process.

1). getting a little time away is important. 

- like most if you, I have a life that requires that I give most of me to others on a daily basis. Whether that is husbands, kids, work, friends - life happens. but I cannot forget to take a little time EVERYDAY to center, talk to God and be present regarding my life.   

2). I cannot allow my perceived inadequacies to hold me hostage.

for so many years I have made myself promises (and broke them all) about how I would take care of myself, and what I would do if.... I am learning to just enjoy life today, and the skin I am in. Taking care if myself is a choice.  Fear is a choice.  I can't be a prisoner in my own mind or body about even one thing. I have to live.

3). spas a cool but...

-every thing in my life doesn't have to be 'go hard or go home.' today was a treat because I am on an annual girls trip with one of my closest friends since high school. but a walk, trip to the local drug store, shoot locking the bathroom door and turning the music up real loud, will do too. the point is I don't have to wait for these big grand gestures to take care of myself.

4). but on the flip side, luxury and pampering are okay too.  choices.

- again choices. listen, I can't do this every week, or every month for that matter.  They way my accounts are set up...well let's just say, yeah no..ha ha ha! However, I think back to how many times I have had dinner away from my house and how I could have paid for the spa 10 ten times over this year. I have made food my celebratory 'go to' for so long, that it became the norm.  get a new client - eat. buy a new house - eat. get pregnant - eat (okay, maybe that one is legit). Eat, eat, eat. well I am changing my mindset...spa, spa, SPA! rewarding myself in other ways now.  

I know this is no big revelation for some of you, and for that I say congratulations.  my issue is not knowing it, but doing it. I have to remind myself to be about it, instead of talking about it.' 

In what ways do you save yourself first?  where you you duck off to and hide out? lol, let me know.  love you guys.

In optimal health and love,

Talia

thanks to the ladies at Milan Day Spa - Savannah. I wanted to pack them up and put them in my purse..yasss! 

ย 

too cute to be fat

this is me.  my personal mantra.  not the only one, but one, and you are welcome to borrow mine if you don't have your own.  this blog has been a legit 3 years in the making.  derailed temporarily by pregnancy, financial issues and at times pure laziness.  but it was always there, looming in the back of my mind; staring back at me when i looked at myself in the mirror.

this journey begins in September 2012, when i started walking regularly with a friend.  of course we talked about our goals, dreams of being fit and knew that it was time to make things right with our bodies.  during one of our walks i mentioned that i was gonna start a fashion and fitness blog called "i did it for fashion."  i bought a couple of goal outfits from Ann Taylor and  started plotting.  

fast forward six months.  by this time i had been displaced from my day job, was working on becoming a full-time entrepreneur and my hubs was really wanting another kid.  i had held that request at bay as long as i could.  i literally thought to myself "i guess another kid would be cool," and lo and behold i was preggers like 2 days later...seriously.  my baby decided to make his debut 3 months early and made the end of 2013 and beginning of 2014 extremely interesting.  life continued to happen that year as we suffered great loss personally, but had great success professionally.  my business started to really take off and this dream just kept getting pushed further and further down on the totem pole.  

now. life is still life, but i am blessed and things are more stable.  i have finally decided that being an entrepreneur is all i want to do; so i have been able to thrust my focus into the things that i love and stop looking for jobs that aren't meant for me any way.  my belief is that this blog is part of my purpose, but that it will also be what saves my life.  if only one person reads this blog (hey K...okay two people, because my husband is contractually obligated) then i must jeep going.  not for them, but for me.  see, you all out there, you will be my support system.  in turn i hope i can inspire you in some way while we cheer each other on.  

you need to know that this whole too cute to be fat thing came about because i really love clothes, and i really think i am cute and i really want to look super cute in my clothes, some of which i cannot obtain in plus sizes. this phrase would be how i would explain my fitness goals/journey when asked because it was easier than telling my life story.  but trust me, this journey is so much bigger than physical appearance, and i know that.  the discipline, faith, prayer and positivity that it takes to make the type of changes that i need to make for the hard work that needs to beyond is monumental.  changing one's body is not the biggest hurdle.  its changing one's mindset.  this has become my goal.  consistency and commitment.  which has helped bring contentment, and allowed me to love the skin i am in at every stage of this process.   

the phrase is not to bash anyone.  i know that everyone is not made to be, nor will want to be skinny.  this blog is not about being skinny, shoot, i am not even sure yet what my personal goal weight is..  this blog is about being my best self.  again, too cute to be fat is my personal mantra, my motivator, the thing that helps me run the last mile. its important that if your haven't yet, you find yours. 

i am so glad to have you here and wish you many blessings and peace.  stay connected, holler at me on social media, say hello! i would love to get to know you.  join the movement #toocutetobefat

in optimal health and love,

- Talia Felicia

P.S. I will be updating progress photos here.