small wins :: oooohhh I can button it now

on this journey it is a must to celebrate the small wins.  I don't get on the scale often, so I look to how my clothes fit and my energy level to assess gains.  

long story short - the other day I was freezing because I had my carpet cleaned and had the air turn down to arctic temperatures to help it dry.  I ran to my closet and pulled out my jacket and proceeded to button it up.  then it dawned on me; "wait, I can button it up!"  

listen, there are days when I am like, I could do without all of this; I'mma just eat what I want, when I want, and bump all this working out stuff.  but I keep going...why - because of moments like this.  although I can't always see or feel the difference, I KNOW that change is coming.  

this is just a little note of encouragement - that no matter where you are in the journey, just KEEP GOING!  

wishing you all many blessings and great success with your fitness goals this week.  celebrate the small wins!

in faith, love and optimal health

PS this pic is a few years old, but you get the point.  I didn't even realize it fit until that day. 

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authentic.

you all wouldn't believe that I have more than thirty drafts in my queue and I left this blog sitting here, like I have nothing to say.  

the truth is, I never quit telling my story, I just quit writing it - well on the blog anyway.  I much prefer sharing the weight loss journey through pictures on instagram, but that really only scratches the surface of my life.  although I haven't posted here in 8 months, I think about it all the time.  the issue is, when I started this blog, I am not sure that I was in a space where I could share the entire story of what got me to a little over 300lbs in the first place.  

here's the thing - I have never thought that my story was special, unique or one of a kind.  there are many folks that grew up with my same circumstances or probably worse. my upbringing wasn't that bad.  however, I genuinely believe that I was being as honest as I could be.  I mean I wasn't lying, I just don't think that I was ready to share all that I am SUPPOSED to share with the world.  

I don't know if I had kept going, if I would have told the whole story.  I have learned a lot about myself in that short period of time, and I realize that this thing is so much bigger than losing the fat.  I have literally had to let go of dead weight that I didn't even realize I was carrying; some of which I am still carrying.  I have always been self-aware; but more recently, I have been confronting things that I didn't think were issues for me anymore and things that I have allowed to lie dormant and suppressed for years.  by the grace of God I am healed from those scars more each day. 

I pray that I can remain consistent enough to share the challenges and wins big or small, so that they can help someone.  

I pray you have been well.

God bless you all.

in faith, love and optimal health

getting to know :: talia felicia - video

hey friends!  i finally posted my first youtube video!! i can't even begin to tell you he angst i had in sharing this video.  lol... this whole thing sounded like a good idea when i started, but then after i hit publish, i was like..."oh em gee! what did i just do?!?!"  if you haven't yet,  you can read about how I started my journey here.

here is my little disclaimer regarding this first vid...lol

This is my very first You Tube Video.

I want to share my story of how Christ is helping me through my weight loss journey, through the lens of faith, fashion and fitness.
I love Jesus.  I hope that through everything you all can see my heart for Him in what I do.

Disclaimer - I almost didn't post this video because there where a few things that I didn't like and I won't explain them all here...lol.  Just know that when I recorded this, the timing was really random (July 31, 2016).  We were heading to Orlando in a few minutes; I walked in the office to open my blinds and I was like "girl, that's some good light, just record something...lol!" And that is how this first video was born.

Believe me, I have been praying about how to come to you all, what God wants me to say and how He wants me to communicate it.  I am me, and he uses us the way we are.  

With that being said, excuse the excessive eye movement (I am a creative, so I talk with my eyes and visualize in my head a lot), excessive dry mouth (i.e. lip smacking) and choppy transitions (this is the first video I have ever edited).
Show your girl some grace, it is the first one.  I will not do all this explaining henceforth, but hey...we're getting to know each other, and I must be honest, I was super apprehensive about putting it out.  But I can't do what the Lord tells me to do being afraid; so here goes! I hope it blesses you.  And you can laugh, cause I laughed at myself every time I watched it.  

God bless you all.  I love you,  I am praying for you and Jesus loves you most!

Now what you have been waiting for ..... https://youtu.be/5VHVvI1p-44

sabotuer

1. a person who commits or practices sabotage.

sabotage - noun

1. any underhand interference with production, work, etc., in a plant,factory, etc., as by enemy agents during wartime or by employees during a trade dispute.

2. any undermining of a cause.

Synonyms

disable, vandalize, cripple.

i do this a lot. i do it without even knowing it. then i spend days, sometimes even weeks trying to recover from perceived failure from being too hard on myself.  don't get me wrong - during this process, heck during life, there are times when it is appropriate and necessary to set the bar really high in order to achieve a goal.  however, what has hindered me all these years is not understanding that there will be hard days, and some days i will fail; nor have i allowed myself to be in this space.  don't get me wrong, by no means do i think that complacency and excuse making is okay...but we are human.  i am human.  mistakes happen. failures occur.  

self-sabotage, for me has often been subtle.  it wasn't until a few years ago that i realized that i was doing it.  i did it in many different areas of my life, but typically and most noticeable was with my weight loss journey.  the outcome would be me stalling and doing absolutely nothing at all to progress.  it became apparent that this sabotage was driven by fear.  i would do stupid stuff like stay up all night knowing that i have to workout in the morning; each monday, tell myself i am going to eat better, but then i don't go shopping the weekend prior; or set a goal to lose like 50lbs in 2 days (okay, not really, but kinda), but then realize 5 minutes after i set that preposterous goal, that it was just that and give up before i start.

i know reading this, it seems super simple and super stupid, but i would do it all them time.  even as i write this my eyes are blurry because i got caught up last night procrastinating (read sabotaging myself), knowing that i have 5 miles to run today and a host of other things to do.  the fact of the matter is, although not always successful, i have had to find ways to keep myself from derailing myself.  i have had to learn to get out of my own way.

how - 

1. prayer/meditation - i talk to the Creator, often. about my shortcomings, successes, failures, goals and dreams.  and then listen for how He guides me (i am actually working on the listening part - real talk...).

2. reminding myself that i do not have to be afraid to succeed or fail.

3. forgiving myself for the times i have failed.

4. not trying to accomplish a million goals at one time.  i can achieve one goal at a time, or several; but i don't have to overwhelm myself with trying to 'do it all in one day.' 

how have you been able to get out of your own way? i would love to know.  let's help one another!

In optimal health and love,

Talia Felicia