authentic.

you all wouldn't believe that I have more than thirty drafts in my queue and I left this blog sitting here, like I have nothing to say.  

the truth is, I never quit telling my story, I just quit writing it - well on the blog anyway.  I much prefer sharing the weight loss journey through pictures on instagram, but that really only scratches the surface of my life.  although I haven't posted here in 8 months, I think about it all the time.  the issue is, when I started this blog, I am not sure that I was in a space where I could share the entire story of what got me to a little over 300lbs in the first place.  

here's the thing - I have never thought that my story was special, unique or one of a kind.  there are many folks that grew up with my same circumstances or probably worse. my upbringing wasn't that bad.  however, I genuinely believe that I was being as honest as I could be.  I mean I wasn't lying, I just don't think that I was ready to share all that I am SUPPOSED to share with the world.  

I don't know if I had kept going, if I would have told the whole story.  I have learned a lot about myself in that short period of time, and I realize that this thing is so much bigger than losing the fat.  I have literally had to let go of dead weight that I didn't even realize I was carrying; some of which I am still carrying.  I have always been self-aware; but more recently, I have been confronting things that I didn't think were issues for me anymore and things that I have allowed to lie dormant and suppressed for years.  by the grace of God I am healed from those scars more each day. 

I pray that I can remain consistent enough to share the challenges and wins big or small, so that they can help someone.  

I pray you have been well.

God bless you all.

in faith, love and optimal health

on exercise - to thine own self be true

this morning, i got up at 5am, as planned (hallelu) and started my morning routine and realized, 'oh shoot my headphones aren't charged!"  my husband will laugh at this, because he knows that means there was no way i was heading to the gym without them.  

i know that may sound SUPER CRAY to some of you and kind of like a cop out, but trust me it's so not.  

over the years i have learned a few things about myself when it comes to exercise, one of which is that i have horrible workouts when i don't have music; specifically my hand crafted playlists.  singing while i work out - okay so real mouthing the words - not only helps me make sure i am breathing, but it gets me so hype.  remember when i told you that my mantra too cute to be fat gets me through the last mile...well that's not entirely true.  it's also that song.  which song?  well actually pretty much any song that is on my workout playlist at the moment.  

i learned the hard way about doing this thing the way other people do it.  it became crystal clear that in order for me to work this thing, i needed to do things a particular way, and that was my way.  

my way - 

1. i need, gotta have, can't function properly without music

2. i don't particularly enjoy working out in groups* or with anyone, except the person assisting in my training efforts; and i prefer that not be someone i love because i don't want to consistently threaten to punch them in the face when i get frustrated, tired, or aggravated. 

3. early workouts are my fave, but i can get with a late workout when i have to (like tonight i will be at the gym to lift once my headphones charge)

4. i don't really like stuff touching my neck, so i cut many of my shirts for workouts. 

5. i like to sweat - a lot, so i ride home with no air conditioning and the windows up all the way home...bwahhahahhahaha...it's psychological - i feel accomplished and i want my hubby to see how hard i worked...lol

okay- so that last one was for comedic relief, but you get the point.  you have to do what works for you.  i am not saying don't step out of your comfort zone.  because in order to be successful we have to venture into the unknown, often. but also understand that it is not wrong to want certain things in place during your workouts in order to push harder, train better, and keep going.  whatever works for you that is safe and effective, do that, and do it often.  

in life, in general music fires me up; so it would only be fitting that it be a large component of what gets my through my workout.  but i wanna know what fires you up?  what do you do to get that last set in, or finish up your killer run?  please share with me!!! i would love to hear from you!

in optimal health and love,

Talia Felicia

*although i don't necessarily enjoy group fitness, i will give zumba a try again, or find a hip hop class, cause i do love to dance- see stepping out of comfort zone. 

also this is a pic of my workout from this morning, just to get the blood flowing.  i will hit the gym tonight though so i don't mess up my weight training schedule for the week.  


too cute to be fat

this is me.  my personal mantra.  not the only one, but one, and you are welcome to borrow mine if you don't have your own.  this blog has been a legit 3 years in the making.  derailed temporarily by pregnancy, financial issues and at times pure laziness.  but it was always there, looming in the back of my mind; staring back at me when i looked at myself in the mirror.

this journey begins in September 2012, when i started walking regularly with a friend.  of course we talked about our goals, dreams of being fit and knew that it was time to make things right with our bodies.  during one of our walks i mentioned that i was gonna start a fashion and fitness blog called "i did it for fashion."  i bought a couple of goal outfits from Ann Taylor and  started plotting.  

fast forward six months.  by this time i had been displaced from my day job, was working on becoming a full-time entrepreneur and my hubs was really wanting another kid.  i had held that request at bay as long as i could.  i literally thought to myself "i guess another kid would be cool," and lo and behold i was preggers like 2 days later...seriously.  my baby decided to make his debut 3 months early and made the end of 2013 and beginning of 2014 extremely interesting.  life continued to happen that year as we suffered great loss personally, but had great success professionally.  my business started to really take off and this dream just kept getting pushed further and further down on the totem pole.  

now. life is still life, but i am blessed and things are more stable.  i have finally decided that being an entrepreneur is all i want to do; so i have been able to thrust my focus into the things that i love and stop looking for jobs that aren't meant for me any way.  my belief is that this blog is part of my purpose, but that it will also be what saves my life.  if only one person reads this blog (hey K...okay two people, because my husband is contractually obligated) then i must jeep going.  not for them, but for me.  see, you all out there, you will be my support system.  in turn i hope i can inspire you in some way while we cheer each other on.  

you need to know that this whole too cute to be fat thing came about because i really love clothes, and i really think i am cute and i really want to look super cute in my clothes, some of which i cannot obtain in plus sizes. this phrase would be how i would explain my fitness goals/journey when asked because it was easier than telling my life story.  but trust me, this journey is so much bigger than physical appearance, and i know that.  the discipline, faith, prayer and positivity that it takes to make the type of changes that i need to make for the hard work that needs to beyond is monumental.  changing one's body is not the biggest hurdle.  its changing one's mindset.  this has become my goal.  consistency and commitment.  which has helped bring contentment, and allowed me to love the skin i am in at every stage of this process.   

the phrase is not to bash anyone.  i know that everyone is not made to be, nor will want to be skinny.  this blog is not about being skinny, shoot, i am not even sure yet what my personal goal weight is..  this blog is about being my best self.  again, too cute to be fat is my personal mantra, my motivator, the thing that helps me run the last mile. its important that if your haven't yet, you find yours. 

i am so glad to have you here and wish you many blessings and peace.  stay connected, holler at me on social media, say hello! i would love to get to know you.  join the movement #toocutetobefat

in optimal health and love,

- Talia Felicia

P.S. I will be updating progress photos here.